Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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