nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
