If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
