At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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