i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
