I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
