So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
