Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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