More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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