were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
