Your tits are I can't wait for
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
