I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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