Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
