What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
