dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
