Duck Duck Cougar?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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