We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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