so that wasnt chicken after all
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Randomize
