I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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