Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
