Its about making memories worth repressing
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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