Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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