Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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