margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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