i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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