He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Houston, we have a squirter
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
