Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
