I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
