why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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