all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
