That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
