His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
