Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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