That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
