READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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