Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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