Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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