hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
