I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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