Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm like, not good at living.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
