We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Houston, we have a blender
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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