I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
