it wasn't lemon gatorade
we made out on top of his cat.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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