Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
