Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
