her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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