dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
