Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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