Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
