Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
