how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
