I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
