he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish I only lived at night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
