We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
