She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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